We loved the excerpt below from Holland Sentinal Columnist, Tom Hoover. Though we don’t endorse letting air out of tires or other debauchery taking aim at fellow cyclists, we can’t help share his feelings. Oh, the simple bike rack and life of the everyday biker…
“Since my move to Holland, I’ve been able to park my gas guzzler and either walk or ride my bike to work. My favorite is riding the bike. Before I bought my bike this summer I hadn’t been on one in years. OK, truth be told, it had been decades. So there were a few things to relearn about the bike. Besides riding it, that is.
The one thing I’d forgotten was the dynamics and politics of the bike parking rack. I’d forgotten that the bike rack is a microcosm of Darwinism in action. Survival of the fittest. Or in this case — the most obnoxiously selfish.
I need to say something about some of the other bikers who share rack space with me. A kickstand is there for a reason fellow cyclists — use it. There is a contingent of riders who believe the best way to park their bike is by laying theirs against mine. Usually with the pedals entwined in my spokes. And the handlebars tangled together like some kind of chromed modern sculpture. I’m sorry, but I feel my bicycle needs its personal space, and having strange bikes lay against mine seems like a violation of some sort. My bike is a shapely beach cruiser with a two-tone paint job and she’s uncomfortable around strangers. Especially those sleek Italian jobs with the skinny tires and big dérailleurs.
Like I said, the bike rack is everyone for themselves and crude vengeance comes to those of us with weak character and a short fuse. To the ancient-12-speed-Fuji-road-bike owner who made sure my chain was off every time you parked next to me, you may have noticed that your tires have been nearly flat the last few times you picked up your bike. I know nothing about that. To the guy who parks in the rack but locks his bike to the shrubbery: Dude, you need to take another look at the instructions for your lock. To the person who left a sticky note on my bike saying, “Look! I found Peewee’s bike,” at least I can ride over a curb without feeling like I’ve been to the proctologist.”
Read the rest of Darwin and humiliation on two wheels here: http://www.hollandsentinel.com/lifestyle/x326478050/COLUMN-Darwin-and-humiliation-on-two-wheels